She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
