Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize