Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
