What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
