So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
