I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
