I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
