It's Friday. Sex?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
