The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
