it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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