sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize