the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
