if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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