I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize