why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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