Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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