I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
