someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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