it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
