Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
