Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
