Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
