I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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