She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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