i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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