that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
