Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
