Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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