I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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