There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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