While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
