We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
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He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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