Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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