i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
