I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
