we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I die, sorry about rent.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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