They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
