I think im going to throw up on grandma
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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