I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You almost got us killed.
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