But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
