i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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