he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
