Dual....:-)
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
