i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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