apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
