I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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