no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize