i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
