I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
