So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
