i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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