somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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