she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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