Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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