i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
