some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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