$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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