yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
