I cockslap morals
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
