i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.