I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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