Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.