Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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  (607): I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me http://tfl.nu/xbef
  Replies (2) Good night (1746) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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  (214): a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener http://tfl.nu/2syz
  Replies (6) Good night (505) Bad night (2120)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.

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  (586): Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet. http://tfl.nu/oze0
  Replies (13) Good night (628) Bad night (3683)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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  (585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o
  Replies (27) Good night (614) Bad night (12856)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up

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  (562): Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up http://tfl.nu/thrv
  Replies (18) Good night (1116) Bad night (3580)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.

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  (513): i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom. http://tfl.nu/yu7b
  Replies (23) Good night (6948) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.

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  (559): he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me. http://tfl.nu/5jau
  Replies (18) Good night (4601) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless

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  (608): Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless http://tfl.nu/2knh
  Replies (75) Good night (3742) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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  (775): she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward http://tfl.nu/zi7g
  Replies (10) Good night (5763) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.

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  (419): You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out. http://tfl.nu/n9rj
  Replies (17) Good night (6014) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.

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  (843): She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that. http://tfl.nu/vu87
  Replies (14) Good night (7030) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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  (207): You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's. http://tfl.nu/19cl
  Replies (6) Good night (1916) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.

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  (708): I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving. http://tfl.nu/rym8
  Replies (6) Good night (3180) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.

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  (917): KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP. http://tfl.nu/9fya
  Replies (7) Good night (1498) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I have the starring role in a literal shit show.

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  (254): I have the starring role in a literal shit show. http://tfl.nu/1tyi
  Replies (5) Good night (213) Bad night (311)

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