i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.