Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie. http://tfl.nu/1hr1
  Replies (25) Good night (5938) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies. http://tfl.nu/e64k
  Replies (24) Good night (1034) Bad night (5316)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Fuck you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right? (571): Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/jxij
  Replies (13) Good night (4342) Bad night (1962)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve. http://tfl.nu/i1km
  Replies (3) Good night (1523) Bad night (2280)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5526) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year http://tfl.nu/pmyc
  Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister. http://tfl.nu/visn
  Replies (7) Good night (1450) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night. http://tfl.nu/i20t
  Replies (2) Good night (1991) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem. http://tfl.nu/o14u
  Replies (6) Good night (933) Bad night (1901)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron. http://tfl.nu/1d6g
  Replies (14) Good night (850) Bad night (2641)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given. http://tfl.nu/4cnf
  Replies (9) Good night (1956) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible. http://tfl.nu/nj7i
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey. http://tfl.nu/rdvv
  Replies (3) Good night (1069) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off http://tfl.nu/u622
  Replies (0) Good night (285) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor" http://tfl.nu/zwwk
  Replies (5) Good night (337) Bad night (606)

Randomize